Matching and messaging
Matches, Likes You, and the chat coach that helps you work out what to say next. 5 articles.
A guide to DateSmarter/Matching and messaging
This is the part of DateSmarter that is different to everything else. If you read one article on the whole site, make it Chat coach.
1It's a match+
When you and another person both like each other, you match, and a chat opens in Matches.
Nobody has to go first, and there is no time limit. A match stays until one of you unmatches.
Matching is the easy part. The message after it is where most conversations quietly die, which is exactly the moment we built the chat coach for.
2Likes You+
Likes You shows people who have already liked you. Like them back and you match immediately.
How many you can see depends on your plan.
3Chat coach+
The chat coach sits inside your chats. When you do not know what to say, it reads the conversation you are already in and offers a way forward.
Three kinds of help
- Stuck? for when you cannot think of anything at all, including the first message.
- Witty reply for when the conversation needs lifting.
- Deep question for when it is ready to go somewhere more real.
How to use it
- Open a chat and tap the option that fits.
- Read the suggestion, and the short reason underneath it.
- Tap Use this to drop it into the message box, or Try another for a different angle.
- Edit it so it sounds like you, then send it.
It is a coach, not a script
Nothing is sent on your behalf, ever. Suggestions land in the message box where you can change every word of them, and you press send. The point is not to sound like someone else, it is to get you unstuck so you can sound like yourself.
Every suggestion shows why it might work. That is on purpose. You should be able to see the reasoning and disagree with it.
Your conversations
Your chats are held in Australia, are never sold, and are never used to train anyone else's models. There is more detail in our Privacy Policy.
4Sending photos in chat+
You can send a photo inside a chat once you have matched.
Photos in chat follow the same rules as everything else on DateSmarter. Anything sexual, anything involving someone under 18, and anything designed to harass will get the account removed. If you are sent something you did not ask for, report it.
5Unmatch, block or report someone+
You are never obliged to keep talking to anyone.
- Unmatch removes the match and the chat. They are not told.
- Block means neither of you will see the other again.
- Report sends it to our team to look at. Reports are private, and the person is not told who reported them.
If you feel unsafe, report it and block them. You do not need to explain yourself first, and you do not need to be certain.
More detail on how we handle reports is in Reporting and safety.
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